Every morning he arrives in our bed

Every morning he arrives in our bed

His blanket in one hand, every morning, this is your toddler who slips between you to finish his night. But what's in his head? A little alarm clock? Cracking from time to time is good ... but watch out for bad habits!

It's cute to see your child half asleep make a little room in your bed and find it when you wake up. But, in the long run, is it without consequences? Answers and advice from Anne Gatecel, clinical psychologist and psychotherapist.

Why is it "better" in your bed?

  • He needs a presence. Children who spend their nights in their parents' beds think they need them to sleep again. In fact, they want their reassuring presence. They confuse need and desire. Maintaining this confusion keeps them in a feeling of omnipotence: they think they can get everything they want.
  • A hint of jealousy. Around the age of 3, a child realizes that his parents have an external relationship with him and he has trouble admitting it. He enters the period of the Oedipus complex which consists, schematically, of trying to "seduce" the opposite sex parent. He will then try to intervene between them!

He lands in your bed: why are you crying?

  • Maybe feel guilty to be too little at home, if you work. And to give him more time, you easily succumb to the temptation to let him encroach on your relationship.
  • It makes you happy to see that your toddler still needs you ... You feel useful, indispensable, even irreplaceable!

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